Caring for others . . . simply real life!

     It has be a while since I posted, and that is because I got a call on July 4th that my mom was taken to ER and admitted to the hospital.  Michael and I quickly rescheduled our plane reservations (we were coming over for a few weeks later in July), threw clothes in a suitcase and got on a plane from Hawaii to California.  We spent the next few days helping to make sure Mom had someone from the family with her at the hospital 24 hrs a day.  We also helped with chores and cleaning on their small ranch.
     Over the past two weeks, my mom has been back over to the hospital three times, and was admitted again last night.  She is a fighter, and not quite ready to leave this Earth - but has a strong Christian faith and believes everything in God's timing!  Yesterday my dad came down with a cold and needed to use his oxygen more, and one of the horses had to be taken to the equine hospital for colitis!  To say it was an eventful day is putting it mildly!!!!  My day started at 6:00 am and ended at midnight . . .
     If you know someone who is providing care for a parent, sibling, or child - take a moment and give them a hug, provide a meal or house/yard care service, give them a shoulder and neck rub, bring them flowers or their favorite coffee/drink of choice.   It can mean so much!
     Advocate or write letters to your representatives about this, as there is a lot of work currently being done at the state and federal government level to recognize the sacrifices caregivers have to make with work and personal life to provide care to family members.  The idea of "home being the best environment" can have serious financial, physical and mental health consequences on the person providing the care if they don't have a good support system.  Talking with others in the same situations helps to build knowledge of what is available out there to help.  Finding the right doctor, getting necessary equipment and furniture, learning the balance needed for nutrition, exercise and medicine all help in these situations.  Also, realizing and accepting "you have to take time to take care of yourself, so you can care for someone else!" can help with the stress involved in this situation.

Caring for others . . . simply real life!

Happy July 4th, 2016

Happy Independence Day! Happy July 4th, 2016! 

May we never forget the men, women and children (yes-children!) who have sacrificed and dreamed to help us have the freedom we enjoy today in this great United States of America! 

For us, it is "simply real life", but for others in this world it is their dream!
I pray to God to continue to bless our great country, and that we can be shining examples of "freedom" to others in this world.

Kathy DeMoville added 2 new photos.

31 mins · 

Happy 4th of July to all my friends and family! 
I took the pictures of these flags, at the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific (informally known as Punchbowl Cemetery) and Pearl Harbor. The United States flag is at the chapel at the cemetery. The one flag is flown on the USS Bowfin - the submarine museum at Pearl Harbor Hi. May we remember and be thankful today for the sacrifices, visions and dreams others had for our great country. We don't need to "become great again ". We have always been GREAT! We are just having to continue to grow and understand the effects that other people, cultures/beliefs, countries, and most of all technology, have on our country today. 
Freedom isn't free . . . it is "the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". 
I pray that God continues to bless our country, and helps us to be examples of "freedom" to the world.

Sun and Surf!

     Sometimes we are so involved in our own life, we forget to stop - look around - and find ways we can help other people.  The pictures I posted are of two different days.  One of the things I have been working on with my youngest son (21 years old now!) is even though he has a "disability", he can still help other people.  I adopted him when he was 5, and have always talked openly about the choices we make in life, the choices his birth mom made, and how his choices will affect his life.  I talk to him a lot about how he can help other people.  

     This picture is of my son Michael doing a headstand on his surfboard at Waikiki.  It was taken last month at the Hawaii Law Enforcement Surf Competition, raising  money for Special Olympics Hawaii.  Michael was one of the athletes representing Special Olympics Hawaii, and were able to go  out on a catamaran, paddle a canoe, and surf with some of the officers.  Michael was also interviewed by one of the local news stations  (KITV4 News) about the event and Special Olympics.         

    This next picture is of my son Michael on his surfboard at White Plains beach, by Kapolei, Hi on last Saturday.  Access Surf and Special Olympics Hawaii teamed up for a day at the water, helping athletes try surfing.  Michael has been surfing for several years, so he helped the other athletes feel more comfortable on their boards and in the water.  Most of them were with an instructor riding double on the surfboard.  It was a day of excitement, smiles, and friendship building!  Many of the athletes wanted longer time on the water, and were so proud of themselves afterward.  

 

     Looking that these pictures, it doesn't seem like Michael has a disability.  That is because sports are his strong area.  He excels in them with extra coaching to help him understand what to do,  and support to help him train and build on his skills.   That is why I am so thankful for Special Olympics!  It has helped Michael gain the confidence, determination and perseverance to learn to surf, and to train and and complete marathons  (26.2 miles) and half marathons (13.1 miles) on his own - outside of Special Olympics.  

     Michael actually has several disabilities (mild ID, communication delays, severe ADHD, PTSD from trauma/abuse, and mental health issues).  He is very impulsive and always on the go, needs several reminders to do his activities of daily living, has a hard time with academic subjects, needs help with money and time management, and has tried to be involved in job training but can't stay in one spot /job/location for longer than 1-2 hours.  His behavior is up and down, but is much better when he takes his medications daily.  Overall though, he really wants to be just like all the other 21 year old adults out there in the world.

     For any parents, family members or teachers of children and young adults like Michael, just hang in there!  I had a psychologist in one of Michael's high school IEP meetings tell me, "Just get him into his 20's, it will start to come together."  His program specialist said,  "But be ready for the roller coaster ride over the next few years."  Oh boy, was he right!!! 

     It takes a team of people to get them there.  Find the balance that works for that child - sports, dance, art, music - whatever is their passion!  For Michael it was riding his bike, running, gymnastics and anything with WATER: swimming, diving, body boarding and surfing!  Ask the child what makes them feel their best, they know just as you know what you need to do to get back to feeling like yourself or "feeling in balance".  It isn't easy, but it is worth it.  If your child is on medication, find the one that works the best for him or her - there are several out there - don't just give up, talk to the doctor about what you are seeing at home or school.  

     Include helping other people as part of their daily or weekly routine.  Get their mind on what they can do for others.  It will help build their feelings of being needed, and help them feel good about themselves.  It will also build self confidence in their ability to help others in their house, neighborhood, community, and the world.   When we help others, our own problems or needs seem smaller.   Academic success is a wonderful achievement, but there are other ways for a person to be successful in life, such as doing something for someone else.  Helping others is simply real life!

     I want to say a hugh "Mahalo" to all the staff and volunteers of Special Olympics Hawaii and Access Surf - the time and effort you gave them on Saturday will stay with them all their lives.  Check out their websites for further information on volunteering or if you have an intellectual disability, live in Hawaii and would like to become an athlete in Special Olympics: www.specialolympicshawaii.org and www.accesssurf.org.  

Oh yes . . . kids in the kitchen!

My grandson told me the other day: "We need to make more cookies!" 

Are you afraid to let the kids in the kitchen?

Don't be . . . put those worries aside, take a breath, and take steps to make it a fun time together.

Here are some suggestions that will help:

1.  Have a rug, chair or stool for a young child to sit or stand on at the table or counter to help them know that is their spot to work.  (This also keeps them safe from the stove or oven.)

2.  Only have one child be your "helper" or "chef" at  time.  If you have more than one child (there were six in my family), and they all want to help, set a timer and let each child have small amounts of time.

3.   As you are cooking, explain the safe way to cut/stir/use mixers/work at the stove, microwave or oven - demonstrate first, then have the child try.  If this is their first time - do not give them a sharp knife to cut the food.  Use plastic knives and let them practice with softer food: bananas and other soft fruit, bread or pancakes.  (Safety, safety, safety . . . I got a really deep cut from cleaning a butter knife one time!)

4.  Start with easy recipes - boxed cake and cookie mixes, scrambled eggs, pancake mix, buttering toast, making grilled cheese, other sandwiches or casadillas.

5.  Have picking the recipe, planning the menu and getting the ingredients for the food be part of the cooking experience.

6.  Cooking is a "using the senses" experience, so be aware and talk about what you see, hear, touch, taste and smell.

7.  Use "family recipes" to let the child learn about their relatives, family customs and culture.  Share about your likes/dislikes/favorites/holiday food.  This helps the child develop a sense of self, belonging and pride in their family (present and past) - who they are in this world.   It lets the child make a connection with you and the history of their "family".  This is especially important for children who are foster children in your home, or who have been adopted in your family.

8.  Let them get the big bowl, the spoons and items from the cupboards or refrigerator.  This helps with organization, language and listening skills, and lets them become familiar with taking care of the kitchen area.

9.  Cleaning up is also a part of the cooking experience, so give them a sponge and let them wash the table or counter.  Have them throw away the peelings, packages or wrappers.

10. You are making memories - take pictures to share and talk about later.

Learning to cook is simply real life, so keep it fun, laugh, and make it an enjoyable time for your child and you!  

*  These suggestions are meant to help you in cooking with your child, but depending on their age you may need to add your own ideas or safety steps.

www.simplyreallife.com

Summer learning . . .

     I recently took a trip to the zoo with my grandsons here in Honolulu, Hawaii.  In the Children's Zoo area is the classroom for programs (field trips, special days).  I really like the banner that hangs over the outside, "Hale 'Imi 'Ike" or "The House to Seek Learning".  All teachers want their students to learn.   But we also need to accept that we are not their "first teacher".  The parents and families are the child's first teacher - yes, you!
     The child knows you, feels most comfortable with you, and wants your attention and praise.  Take time this summer to spend time with your child.  It doesn't have to be for an extended period, the important thing here is to create memories (and the learning will happen on its own).  Laugh together, make mistakes, redo something that you messed up on, share time and keep it fun (because we all know you don't learn something well that is not fun!).
     I have to warn you though - this is the time when you also may be having some serious conversations with your child.  They may begin to talk to you more about questions they have, or in my case, my youngest son would remember things that happened to him before he was adopted.  Just be ready, as it usually happened when I was driving somewhere, we had our hands all messy with cookie dough, when we were reading bedtime stories or when he would get scared in the night.  
     In the link page on my website, I have listed the links for the Honolulu Zoo and San Diego Zoo.  I am also including a link to my niece's blog today, where she talks about what she is doing this summer with her children and a bucket list she made two years ago.  Make your own list, related to your family's interests or the area where you live. (Link:  mehaffeymoments.blogspot.com)




     Be sure to have your child cook with you.  It covers so many areas of learning (language, reading, math, social skills).  When we make food and share it together, it also helps develop feelings of comfort and caring/being cared for by others.  It is okay if they try it and don't like it.  Last week I made mochi for the first time, with a friend's recipe.  I had my grandson's help roll the mochi.  As I cut it into rectangles to be rolled, I realized why I had to tell my preschool early intervention students "Don't eat the play dough."  It looks just like the homemade play dough!   Note to teachers:  check with the family about things the students do as there could be a cultural belief or home practice that is similar.  Both of them had a ball helping, but didn't really like the taste/texture of it without the sprinkles or the ice cream inside it (like the kind sold in the store).

Have fun, and share the ideas you came up with if you want - we learn from each other too!

www.simplyreallife.com

Good Morning Monday!

Good Morning Monday!  Summer suggestions for all those home or in summer programs:  discover board games.  This past week, my two grandsons have really enjoyed playing the games that have been stored on the shelves.  You know - all the ones given as gifts for Christmas, birthdays, or bought with the memories of when you learned to play them. . .but never played. . .well, this week they have been played at our house!  Take an hour or so and teach them those card games.  Cards are inexpensive, easy to put in a pocket or bag and can be used during wait time at appointments, or when you travel on a plane.  Play the game by the instructions or use your imagination to make up your own game.  That is how the game came to be - someone used their imagination to make it up!!!  Keep it fun though, and age appropriate.  If it is too hard, play as a team with your child.  The important thing is to do it together, then let them play it on their own or with a friend another time.  Hope you are staying cool on these June days!   Read more at www.simplyreallife.com